The subtle art of the ‘polite F-U’

Work. Life. People.

People at work (and in life) sometimes say stuff that you may have, let’s say, an emotional reaction to… as in, not a positive one. And sometimes, you just need to respond to them.

BUT you don’t want to start an email shit-fight, fire-storm, or any other word to describe what happens when our written / remote words get out of hand and land back into our face by a factor of 1000.

So what do you do?

Let things slide with the perpetrator, and express our rage against a pillow (or against someone else)?

Put on a happy face and think it’s all ok, they don’t need to be told this was inappropriate, and maybe they didn’t mean it?

Sometimes, deflecting or being an ostrich doesn’t quite cut it. That’s when you need to hone in your skills at delivering the ‘polite F-U’.

The ‘polite F-U’ is something that I quite enjoy. It is the subtle art of telling someone off in the most polite of manners, while being quite clear about what you think of their behaviour. It is a fine line, a tight wire that you need to carefully walk as a loss of balance can land you headfirst into a shit-storm… or inversely look like you went for the ‘ostrich’.

It is an art that requires tact. Proofreading. Pause, and reflection. More proofreading. Then click send, and wait and see.

Did the receiver get the message?

Are they astute enough to read between the lines and see the finger sticking out there, or so dubious that they just think you are being polite?

I sometimes wonder if this isn’t a skill that should be taught at university. “Hey kids, you’re bound to face some pretty #@Q#*&$# people in your life and work-life. Let’s work on how you can respond to these”.

To be fair though, I just finished reading a book about child development and how it’s important to teach them how to work with both their emotional and rational brain… so maybe this is more of a primary school course.

I need to rename this…